Who would you refer to as your friends? Is it the individual who spends the most time with you? Or the person who’s always there in times of trouble? Is this a real good definition of a friend or just a construed meaning of what a true friend should be?
And that will not change the answer you’ve got inside your own ideas. What do you truly feel a true friend is, what do you believe yourself a true friend to be.
Reason why I bring this up because, someone I once believed to be a great friend of minewhen I actually paid close attention too, was not a very good friend to me. My definition of a friend is someone who has similar views and beliefs close to your own. Someone you can relate to and that you think understands how you feel.
To further elaborate on this, a friend should be a give-and-take type of connection, rather than solely giving or taking, but it must be equal on both sides of the spectrum. Without this balance someone has been taken advantage of, in which regrettably a lot of mistake a friendship to be and think that is how it should be.
Additionally a friend should be one to encourage and support a friend’s decision, if they understand and believe in their buddy’s choice. There’ll be times where friends will disagree, which is alright, everyone has the right to choose for themselves. But to still believe in them, despite the fact that they do not particular care for the cause, is what a friendship is about.
In my particular situation I had a friend, let’s name him Bob to secure his name here. Whom was going through some challenging times, his girlfriend at the time of 3 years was not treating him like crap, little did I know he was contributing too, but I felt bad for him and befriended him and helped him out. I let him stay with us and my family when he finally decided to leave her and stood up for him. We talked and got to know each other better, and became decent friends, or so I thought. I soon discovered how much of friend he had been when he came in to live with us.
At first things seemed great, our arrangement was for him to get back on his feet and find a place of his own. I know he needed to recoup some funds out of his job before getting a place, and so I knew it may be a month or two or so before he could make some significant steps forward. A few months passed and it appeared as if nothing more had happened, he had been making himself at home, and not much progress on trying to move forward. Started making him pay rent to help things rate along, and cover his expenses he’s accrued while in our household.
And this whole time, we were further from being in touch than when we were not in the same household. Come to find out he’s been spending his time constructing another relationship after he emerged from the one he has been in. Wanted the best for him, but advised it may not be the perfect time to begin starting another relationship.
So fast forward, and now Bob and his new girlfriend were living with us!!! I don’t know how it came about, but it did. When you believe you’re friends you are sometimes blinded for their manipulated ways. Though it was short before they got their own place together it happened.
To bring you to the current, Bob and his new girl, who I’ll call Bertha, awakened, and took all of his stuff. Despite the fact that I cautioned him about the relationship to start with, I still was there for him. Now to back track a bit I got involved with my own company and brought him along too, because I knew it could help him as it has helped us. To be involved with my business and spend some more time with family, I felt it was time to change tasks, I told Bob this and he said I was crazy and that my business will fail me.
Now I know it seems as if I have drifted far from course here on whom our real friends are, but this example explains more than any words I could write, through personal experience. At that moment I realized he was not my friend, because he did not support me, but more importantly he did not believe he would ever get out of the 9 to 5 rat race they most people today believe is the only option. I didn’t realize how much of a friend he wasn’t until I myself started to grow personally.
I say all this to say, our friends are the ones who beliefs levels match up, and they aren’t constantly taking, but giving and sharing. A person who believes in you for better, and has achieved it their selves, and gives you information to be successful also. One who can raise you up, and see things for you before you can see it. One that can help you understand your full potential and help you realize you can have all you would like.
And friend, if you can relate to this story, and have gone through something similar, than I would like you to know you have a friend in me. Although I do not know you, or may never meet you, I believe in you. If you are looking for a way to do this for yourself than I’ll be more than happy to assist you get there. Or if you’re already on your way, keep going. The only way you will ever fail is if you quit.